Dirty Sign Language

Just in case you were wondering, in sign language, there is a sign for poop or bowel movement. Don't get me wrong, I am not entirely immature, there is some backbone to this post other than potty humor.

The setting is mass, at our local Catholic Church. The pastor began his homily like he did every Sunday. I pay attention to his stories, he has charisma about him that makes his stories stick to the congregation. This particular homily would stick to minds for the ages to come.

He described a bus full of missionaries that traveled through Zanesville, OH providing communion to the disabled, a very noble cause. The story continued. The pastor described a parishioner who had unfortunately stepped in "doggy doo" (his words). That poor parishioner was then forced to get on the bus and embarrassingly bestow upon his church community the smell of his shoes.

And then, the pastor attempted a biblical parallel. He described that Jesus has also, stepped in "doggy poo", by accepting responsibility for all of our sins. My jaw - dropped - open.

It was humorous enough that this pastor, who possesses a demeanor that can captivate all, is now talking about poo. Then, he suggests that Jesus has also stepped in poo. I mean think about it, Can you picture the Lord our Saviour, scraping his sandles over a rock to get the crap off. If all that was not enough for my suppressed laughter to get the best of me, I noticed that there was a sign language expert for the hearing impaired. I was paying close attention to what she was signing and who she was signing to. What was this expert going to do when the pastor uttered poo again

Side note:
If I was giving this homily I would have refrained from using such heavily guarded and adolescent words like poo or doo. I would have used words like sewer snake or pound cake. But that is probably why I am not a religious leader.

As I was listening to this, I was asking myself, "Is there a sign for poo, or crap?", "Are these people, whom cannot hear, going to think that this denomination has lost it's bird?", and "How have I stepped in poo in my life?" (metaphorically of course, I have stepped in crap for real enough in my life that I have lost count).

So, to satisfy my curiosity, I had to look and see if there was indeed a sign for poo. And, there is.

It's a 2 motion sign, the first motion is to have a clenched fist as one hand, and the the other hand fanned out underneath.

The second motion is to take the fanned out hand and throw it downward swiftly. And there you have it, crapping in sign language.

Oh, and my proclamation at the start of this entry, you know, that I am not immature. Well, we all know that I am full of (see sign language above).

Never Under Estimate Your 5 Year Old

Just in case you were wondering, you should never under estimate what your 5 year old is capable of. As a parent, it becomes harder every day to see your babies grow up and start becoming more and more like an adult. Then, when you feel that your baby girl has stopped growing up, she saves your family from being locked in the basement all day.

That's correct, my oldest, the pioneer of the Household Lollipop League helped my wife and youngest daughter out of a locked basement. They were playing in the basement for a while and then realized that the upstairs door was locked from the outside. The oldest, much to the surprise of my wife, suggested that her mother push her out the window of the basement and come back into the house from the garage. Her plan was to open the garage door with the keypad and then come into the house and open the basement door. All she needed was a chair to reach the keypad on the garage door.

She then proceeded to execute her plan to - a - T.

She was very proud of her accomplishments, and she told her story with an electric enthusiasm. You see, it made me realize that there is a world of potential that is begging to be released in these children's lives. All they need is the right opportunity and unconditional support

So the next time your young child asks to be the hero, make sure that you give them the chance. Their reaction to the accomplishment is quite rewarding.